“There is no place for feelings and emotions in the workplace”

By Richard Carlson, Focus Dynamics, LLC

How many times have you heard that said, or have said it, on the job, in meetings, during appraisals or during idle chatter when talking about somebody else? It is a common attitude many people have towards feelings, not just in their professional lives but also in their personal lives as well. This all too pervasive attitude held by many in leadership and management positions and throughout the work force as well as customers and other stakeholders of an organization often translates into negative human interactions with less than optimum results and outcomes. Yet what is the alternative?

Well the fact is: You Cannot – Not Feel!

It is unrealistic and impracticable to think that we can continue to conceal or ignore emotions and how they impact the work environment, or any other environment, and expect to have effective leadership and management or positive interpersonal relationships and communications.

An alternative approach to viewing the role that feelings and emotions play in all human interactions, that is able to measure leadership and management effectiveness as well as interpersonal and communication skills is called Emotional Intelligence (EI). EI, as related to the work environment, is a term that was coined by Peter Salovey & John Mayer in 1990. “They described emotional intelligence as a ‘form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor ones own and others feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide ones thinking and action.’ Salovey and Mayer also initiated a research program intended to develop valid measures of emotional intelligence and to explore its significance.” (a bit of emotional intelligence history; Valued Based Management). EI involves an individual’s capacity to effectively perceive, express, understand, make decisions and manage emotions in a professional and effective manner at work. It is also a measure of how effectively we interact with one another in emotionally charged situations.

In one EI model (Genos), there are five measures of Emotional Intelligence:

1. Recognizing and Expressing Emotions

Self Awareness; the ability to perceive and understand one’s own emotions and to express emotions to others.

2. Understanding Emotions

Awareness of Others; the ability to perceive and understand the emotions of others.

3. Making Decisions

Emotional Reasoning; the extent to which emotions and emotional information is utilized in reasoning and decision making.

4. Managing Emotions

Emotional Management; The ability to manage one’s own and other’s emotions at work.

5. Effectively Controlling Emotions

Emotional Control; The ability to effectively control strong emotions experienced at work.

When people are angry, upset, or stressed they can behave and communicate in an aggressive, intimidating manner discounting others. On other occasions they can react by behaving in an intimidated and passive manner and discount themselves. Still other times they can react by totally suppressing their emotions altogether by reacting, cold, aloof and robotically, and concern themselves only with things, discounting people totally. And still in other situations they can completely remove themselves from the situation, try to change the focus or subject, and not want to deal with anything or anybody.

Most of us have used all or some or a combination of the above behavioral and communication tactics at one time or another in one situation or another. And when we do, most of us do not realize how it affects others and/or ourselves. And many times we are totally oblivious to the true outcomes. When we do behave and communicate using any of these methods it can be said that we are interacting and communicating with others with low Emotional Intelligence. The outcomes are usually not effective in accomplishing what we set out to accomplish.

The good news is that Emotional Intelligence is something that can be learned and developed, no matter what anyone’s level is at any given moment.

High EI has been established to be highly correlated to leadership, executive, management and entrepreneurial effectiveness. High EI is also highly correlated to effective interpersonal relationships and communications. Tools, professional development and other interventions are available to help people learn how to deal effectively with one’s own emotions and the emotions of other’s resulting in a more functional, productive and beneficial way to interact and communicate with one another.

When more people and organizations utilize and embrace these EI interventions the results and outcomes will truly be more of the win – win variety for all those who choose to participate.